I run

“Are you scared?”
“All the time.”

I am scared.
Can I admit that?

Not scared of shapes in the night.
Not scared of lonely alley ways;
feasting eyes of heartless, soulless leeches.
Not scared of apocalypse, judgment day, end of the world.

I am scared of myself.

Of all the abandonment issues, the most terrifying is my consistent ability to abandon myself.
Reckless, impulsive, caution to the wind
When it all gets too much.

When it all gets too much, I run.

I run.
To keep fit.
To be strong.
To be confident.
To know my body.
To be alone.
To be free.
To know certainty.
To hide.

Periodic calm.
Temporary relief.
From the fear.

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