Monthly Archives: August 2011

anniversary.

How she longs to forget him
Wrap up that part of her memory and erase him.

He watched Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet on the plane home.
Ironic.

And you are relieved.

She never asked anything of him.
He asked her.

But you forgot to tell her?
And then it was too late.

And now she will never forget him.
Always remember those dead eyes as he told her she was no longer lovable.

He pretends he knows her. But knows only what he wished her to be.

And I am glad that I do not fit that mould.


indulge.

indulge me.
read me. and make me.

let me slip into a caress
of warm, velvet chocolate nights.
give myself over to sandalwood candles
elegance.

calm, precious moments of understanding,
knowing, love.

find me swimming, bathing, drowning in
waves of gentle murmurs, quiet whispers,
secret deep oceans of peace.

I am safe and joyful in this embrace.  cradled.
my heart is warmed.

shall we dance?


perfection.

You.
Me.
Striving for perfection in every essence of our lives.

Health
Food
Career
Mind
Sex
Fitness
Body
Relationships
Experiences
Special occasions.

all occasions.

you told me I was good for you.

but I guess you got scared.
again.
scared of your own imperfections.
scared that I refused to bow to your ideals.
scared that I challenged you.
scared of failing.

scared.
again.

I hope you can find courage next time.
Learn that someone who loves you is not something to be scared of.
they will never stop believing you are perfect
even in your darkest hour.

they will never stop cherishing you, cradling you, supporting you.
even when perfection seems like a monstrous ambition.

you should have held on to that ambition.
it was not so unattainable.
I could have held you up.
Us.

the moment now forever remembered as the first time I’ve ever seen you give up on perfection.
I am disappointed.

perhaps you are alone.
I think you are relieved.
It is much simpler, much more reliable simply to expect perfection only from yourself.
I would not let you punish me for my imperfections like you choose to punish yourself.

at least now your abandonment allows you to sink ever deeper into your comforting, reliable, obsessive world of control and self perfection.

how dare you chastise others for fearing activities, experiences, choices that fall outside their comfort zone.
hypocrite.

you could not hurt me for the imperfections you perceived of me;
but self-torture knows no bounds.

begin.


sometimes when I am walking (The Supermarket).

sometimes when I am walking,
aisle after aisle in the supermarket
I stop for herbal toothpaste, organic body wash and,
then I pause.

sometimes when I am walking,
aisle after aisle in the supermarket
pretending I have someone to buy for and,
then I pause.

sometimes when I am walking,
aisle after aisle in the supermarket
I stop at the men’s aerosol deodorants and,
then I pause.

sometimes when I am walking,
aisle after aisle in the supermarket
I choose your fragrance, I breathe in deeply and,
then I pause.

sometimes when I am walking,
aisle after aisle in the supermarket
I remember.  I realise I will always be captive to your scent and to memories of our supermarket adventures.

and then I pause.