can I meet you on the esplanade?
I’ll wait for you
I am warm but,
the sharp, hard, brittle wind
rips me apart
and the ocean looms.
swallowed up by the fresh scent of violently salted water
I just miss you now.
but memories are my comfort.
and the longing ceased several eons ago.
who knew much love?
your face still greets me when I am in a lonely crowd
I turn away
I wonder if your lookalike notices the horror and desperation in my intense gaze?
my hope and shameful disappointment?
I wonder if he know he made my day?
and broke it.
now of all times?
twelve months of your continuous force
hard, unrelenting, challenges.
you inspire me.
a wave roars: I am terrified.
a slight panic, manifested in my quickening heart rate despite the comfort of my airtight hatchback.
I am clean.
peeling the layers of polish residue from my tiny, raw nail beds.
is it because of your name?
that’s why we are here.
why did I ask about the ‘h’?
were you convinced?
eternal love pledged and overwhelming.
it has not allowed me to avoid many great loves.
I am glad it is over.
realities in full, dentist light.
you would like his smile.
I do not know if I wish you to call me yours.
but better yours than the phrases of abuse.
kind, unflinching affection.
my skin feels golden and silken.
hands that feel I am enough.
surprised, enchanted by the natural ease of touch.
no knowledge of me. second nature.
do I dare believe?
I’ll hold you.