Monthly Archives: December 2013



because every time i said it
i wished it was the last.

i willed the words to pass
my lips
and move on to
someone new.

someone else to hold
your name
and hold the loss
the dying embers

as if by bargaining,
the words could leave me a final time
– i do not dare to count –
and at once the weight lifted.

i do not demand a future
filled with passions resembling
and familiar falling
deep troughs

as if by muttering
one last time; you could go with it.



so young. too soon.
the scent, tragedy of those
who went before me.

i do not remember
most, but
society reminds me

the loss of those
with talent and a future
and “just so much” potential.

i grasp at potential
like it is a common
attribute to bind us

and clutch at the
moment my fate
could mirror theirs

only my potential
is a lie, a mask
i dare not uncover.

perhaps it was
such for them
and the joke for society

where others envy
the talent, the fame
i envy their escape.

so on account
of the impossible
i dream of an exchange

take me instead
i know only their name
and their fame

but take me instead
and have them fulfil
the potential you wished upon them

Heath Ledger
Kurt Cobain
Princess Diana
River Phoenix
Grace Kelly
Bob Marley
Janis Joplin

and my best friend.
bring him back
to those who miss his smile.

and i.
take me back
so i no longer have to smile.


dazed. i walk through
this life
constantly enveloped,
by a frozen embrace.

frozen. like my body
is not mine
existing only,
as a transparent mask.

captured. vivid retelling
of a lucid dream
shivering sensations,
transversal piercing sinew.

defeated. the object
succumbing to fall
like a relieved surrender,
shattered bitter grasp.


[i] go to our places
and [i] lie on the lawn
beneath the clouds
and [i] wait
and [i] listen
for our memories
to wash over me

[i] seek you at our places
and [i] lie to myself
beneath the clouds
and [i] wait
and [i] listen
for my heart
to stop bleeding

[i] am the ghost in your place
and [i] haunt my own heart
beneath the scar
and [i] wait
and [i] listen
the love is gone
it’s all bone and death inside