Monthly Archives: January 2014

i’ll always be waiting.

the breathless
were harried and
panicked
but it was not
the stairs

hands of
trembling that
began before
they left
or did they never stop?

knowledge
of needing to exit
but saying
anything
to stay

and all
benign and
depthless subjects
the only thing
to ask

for one day
hopes and love
and survival
but for
her searching eyes


artless.

he found her
quick to frustrate him
yet easy to distract
with bored stories
of far off ventures
scandal and petty infringements
the simple existence
that repelled
and attracted
him all at once

reluctance for details
passive and artless
had he ever met
someone so naive
and aspirationally so
the trite detail
and conspiring charms
draw a stark
and harsh comparison to
the old, warm and dark embrace


dissociative veil.

where does it go
the translucent veil
of numb confusion

i heard my own
voice in hers
sitting and waiting

for black silence
“… i feel as if i am not
…solid.”

await, await, await
the dream. of fluid.
i see it, but it goes

where does it go
my neck aches
and sighs recalling finer

the glazing becomes me
where did she go
and why don’t they see

how to feel
push for pressure
tear and strip and burn

in the mirror are egg-shaped
potholes not soul-windows
black spots, holes of boredom

handful of flesh
wait to extract and feel
disgust and repulsion

plough, run, try not to
look beyond reflection
believe in humanity

willpower and tested balance
so tired and corrected
the drugs to rise

unabashed smile
shameful pity
resigning to the life lie


utterance of love.

sent from her favourite soul –
magical tunes to embrace
the emaciated heart

pillars of love cascading
and breaking. faint and frozen
the truth is a scandal

rippling deceit shatters
the dream. a sticky tar
the binding mandate

collision of precious hope
and damning truth
the lips of sacrifice

ardent denial her temporary transom
even to clasp his hands
the connected soul


vacation.

aisle seat: quick escape
ear plugs to mute the chaos
familiar tunes as i am lulled to sleep;
and wondering,
am i the only one
wishing the plane to crash?
planning the tragedy?
and slowing discounting
patterns of grief.

driver seat: mostly in control
lyrics invade to amplify the chaos
magical tunes invoke my delicious emptiness;
and wondering,
am i the only one
wishing that truck to sway?
planning the tragedy?
and slowing discounting
patterns of grief.


nightmares.

I dreamt of you last night,
only with another name
and in another time.

I dreamt of you last night,
only you were just out of reach
and your kisses tasted like air.

I dreamt of you last night,
only after so many years
and so many memories recalled.

I dreamt of you last night,
only waking in a dispute of agony
and comforting recognition.

I dreamt of you last night,
only it was nice to see your face
and assured that you will never leave me.