Monthly Archives: March 2015

18.04.15

it’s almost april.
almost three months.
nothing has changed,
except my heart
is bleeding more furiously
and my lungs are
dry and tired and dying.

i’m keeping my promise.
but the sweet relief
of having kept it.
and now being released.
you must understand.
i hope you find
the place you want.

i hope i find
the empty
nothing.
of black, warm, endless sleep.
i tried so so hard,
but you had to know
i was never strong enough.


numb deception.

i feel it
but i feel it
leave me.

what a waste,
what a fool.

and you knew.
you lied again.

even if it was
the truth.

it would never
be mine.

now the pit
of my stomach
is empty.

my heart
dull and tired.

you won’t fill
it with false
love.

but i remain
hamstrung
and numb.
and you know it.

and i feel you
despise me,
yet claiming love.

pity
is my enemy.