Monthly Archives: December 2015

no surprise.

it does not
surprise her;
it is never
enough.

when she
has nothing
left to give;
and still?

it is never
enough.
how could she
have hoped?

the fear was
finally realised;
your truth
exposed.

she could never
be enough;
how could she
have hoped?

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boredom.

dancing with a cloud,
i still wish
bad things
upon you;
only to make
us appear closer.

two options,
and neither
have retained
their gloss.
if i leave now,
noone
will get hurt,
and the new
year will
be like
old again.


[pantone].

please stop.
you’re a
monster
in my mind.
i wonder
if there
will ever
be a day
without
your threatening
shadow.

please stop.
do i still
visit your
dreams?
do you wonder
if there
will ever
be a day
we hold
each other
again?

please stop.
i can’t stop.
she won’t stop.
you must stop.
please stop.
stem the flow.
beat the rats.
heal.
heal
heal.
don’t let go.


empathy.

i read it
again,
and i felt
her pain.
i could feel
the grief
and longing
for finality.

rising up
through
my lungs
and pressing
hard to crack
my ribs.
a deep wound
still weeping.

it doesn’t die.
“i wouldn’t
leave a note,
but i would
leave this…”
i would still
walk
and fall.


salary.

how many
games
do you have
the patience
for?
playing
the long
game;
the waiting
game. again.

is it worth
your heart?
do you
remember
that you’re
still living?
do you
remember
this is all
there is?


decipher.

where did it
go?
so easily
her lips
softly enclosed
and a gentle
pull.

just as easily
gone.
a new
look; like
strawberries
and cream
lollies.

where was the
softness?
why the
disclaimer
and swift
reversal?
soft yet hard:
a contradiction.


cut.

how to cut;
i am like
a canvas tote;
you reuse me
again and again,
only i cant
keep being
recycled.

how to cut;
on christmas day
it always hurts more;
but deja vu
isn’t painful,
just familiar
and a small,
tightened chest.

how to cut;
it pulls
and pushes
and tears
at my skin;
but then:
discarded and
left to rot.


contact.

constant, or
barely at all.
why is this
a topic of
contention?

there are no
assessments
against
performance
targets.

all he wants
is to feel
loved.
all he wants
is your heart.


queue.

you say
it like a joke;
but where
is your self
worth?

watching the
queue form;
some will
fight for a
place.

others will
leave disgruntled;
some will
fight for what
they value.

but i won’t
wait in line
any longer.
i was patience
and quiet.

so fight for
your spot.
or leave
disappointed and
queued.


spade.

call it.
he makes
her laugh.
and she
fills his mind.

call it.
she makes
him hard.
and he
calls her wild.

call it.
she is thoughtful
and kind.
he makes thoughtless
demands.

call it.
she is careful
and wise.
he is careless
and bitter.

call it.
friendship
trumped lust.
and love
exceeded friendship.