Monthly Archives: February 2016

leap.

sharp shooter,
expectation
of proliferation.
i wonder now,
after everything,
was he trying?
i never noticed
until this time
was so blatant
and so offensive
and so abrasive.

ironic and clichéd.
we know it all
too well.
i prefer we carry
the pain now.
i finally understand
it is the only
way to live
with ourselves.
and maintain
the love.

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leave.

i know why
it’s so hard
to leave.
because what if,
there was still
that chance?
what if,
somehow
i made it all up?

why do they stay
for so long?
for too long?
because what if,
you and her
could make it?
what if,
somehow the ground
would swallow me up?


inevitable.

her hair
is glossier,
her legs
are longer,
her brain
is sharper,
her skin
is smoother.

choose her.
pick her.
marry her.
over me.
we both
know.
everyone
knows.


foam.

stretch and wait;
what’s it like
to be the one
silently asking?
you’ve put those
words in my mouth,
and it doesn’t matter
how many times
i spit them out.

stretch and wait;
what’s it like
to be the one
waiting for the end?
patiently and quietly
i wait for you
to discover –
to admit defeat –
you’ll spit me out.


temperate.

tremble at the breeze;
i am always cold
and you are always
too hot.
it’s a mismatch
of fate
that follows me.
i am well accustomed,
but leaving others
to fall and whimper.

funny how
sometimes,
i successfully
elude even myself.
and for once
the clouds seem whiter
and the crowds seem brighter;
alas, 24 hours is the closest
i’ll ever get
to a normal temperature.


before.

wallowing further
than before.
i couldn’t find
his face.
the sand ran through
the glass
and through
my toes.

swallowing more
than before.
i couldn’t find
my breath.
your tears ran through
my veins
and through
the window.

cowering lower
than before.
she couldn’t find
her strength.
your fists ran through
her skull
and through
the wall.


go.

capitulating
devastating,
raw, feeble
plans of captivation.
humour and spirals
of madness
seek your eyes
and your fingertips.
drive with me
watch their
glistening eyes
twinkle with insanity.
try me
try me
try me.
your lust is my loss.


race.

quiet pause.
minimal reflection
but resonating
loneliness.
this is the day
you’re meant
to fall in love.

if i ever
had it,
i know
it is gone now.
this is the day
you’re meant
to fall in love.

somehow i will
find a way.
to kill the
loneliness.
thirty was long
enough.
i have no more laps in me.


harm.

kaleidoscope,
and prism
of madness,
immortality.
she drove
the sharp stick
deep upwards into
her stomach.

a warm, dark
liquid; a sticky
tar of deep
crimson ash.
they watched
her eyes roll
backwards and the vomit
rose from her stomach.


isolate.

deep in denial
but the pain
was still a sting.
your barbs
were sharper
than i could
have imagined.

this is where
i always land.
and people wonder
why i keep
to myself.
i trusted it was different
but it is always the same.