Monthly Archives: September 2016

heart.

​i’m doing
it all wrong
again.
every moment
is a chance
for betrayal.
every moment
is a chance
to lose.

in my mind
it is not
a chance:
it is certain.
he will leave,
and you
will fall,
every knife pointed
at my own bloody heart. 

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could.

​she remembers
when he
used to love
her;
now it is
a resentful
need.
he wouldn’t
if he could;
she wouldn’t
if she could.

she remembers
when she
used to love
him;
now it is
a painful
memory.
she wouldn’t
if she could;
he wouldn’t
if he could.


disparate.

and then reality
broke through
her skin
with the fierceness
of a blade;
and waves upon waves
of self-loathing
and the impracticalities,
the burden
of this depressed life.
her head falls
to the caress
of her sweaty,
oily palms.

how to destroy
this feeling?

these days,
her fingers only
stop shaking
when sleep
engulfs her
bleak, diseased body.
she’s seen
the despair before,
but somehow
this entrapment
is different.
she is a fool
faking the light,
before it attacks again.


home.

will it be warm,
but just cool enough?
to lick
your cheek
with the missing breeze?

will they cry
when they see you?
returned bruised
and tired,
and her eyes are different.

will she fade
again; a breathing ghost?
like all the times
before; a sobbing,
decimated tree log.

will the bites fade
before they see?
where pain meant
a relief and a fuel
to find home.


leader.

he followed her
and he wasn’t
so scared;
his feet didn’t
burn up in
mistrust and fear.

she followed him
and she let
his hand go;
her feet grew
old and her
eyes were in pain.

she followed;
he followed.
both and neither;
who led who
down a denied path
or a steady road?


obscure.

i ponder
what it is like,
to think
you’ve found
The One?

i never believed
in soulmates;
an obscure
concept of time
and human naivety.

instead i have
found:
people find people;
that light them up
or destroy them.

the obscurity
is The One.
how time bends
to meet, and fall
simultaneously.


dirty.

​and then
the dirty blood
began;
thick, gel-like
and brown.

it pooled in clots
and stained
his legs,
and ruined
the cloth.

draw it out;
do your time.
eventually,
peace will find you,
before a new facade.


32.

i’m getting old,
and the days
are sometimes
shorter,
sometimes longer.

i’m getting old,
but i will never
stop counting
the moment you stopped
being older.

i’m getting old,
and you’re stuck
in time.
but i will never
forget this day.


lifetime.

no longer convinced,
she was his soulmate;
the years were not wasted,
but time was limited
and every second
filled with love.

maybe he’ll get
more than one.
because endless years
of barely speaking
amounted to a lifetime
of, ‘i love you.’


guileless.

help me push it;
are you even trying?
i can help you
if you are trying.

walk through
the broken glass city
and reach past
your pivotal coccoon.

the breeze is cool,
but there is no breeze.

see through the shutters
and mixed feelings of hope
and desire and tropical
cocktails and transcendence.

i am sheltered
by the nocturnal wind
but attacked by a gale-like
mind of terror and guileless anxiety.

the breeze is cool,
but there is no breeze.