Monthly Archives: May 2017

safe ii.

i thought
you could
protect me.

i thought
you wanted
me safe.

i thought
you could
understand me.

i thought
you would
be proud.

i thought
you would
admire me.

i thought
you would
want to know.

i thought
we would
love.

i thought
we would
fly.

nobody is perfect.
i thought wrong.

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instead.

i wish
it was
you.

instead,
the hole
remains.

instead,
another
year.

i wish
it was
you.

i need
too
much.

i speak
too
much.

i give
too
much.

i ask
too
much.

i expect
too
much.

i want
too
much.

instead,
still
not enough.

i wish
it was
you.


stride.

eat my
hand;
draw breath
and see
the raw mist.

call the
question
unearthed
and captured
in real time.

my brain
permanently
intoxicated,
high anxiety
and the dull grey.

watch her walk
see the stride,
a purpose
unknown
but free.

loose flesh
and fish oil
stains;
waiting in
silent terror.

longing sobs;
inevitable loss.
leave quietly
or rather,
don’t let me fall.


past.

he is.
i am.
we were.

your touch
is cold
and forced.

my throat
is dry
and empty.

your heart
is small
and fragile.

my fingertips
are reluctant
and strained.

your brand
of love
isn’t mine.

my lungs
keep aching
for more.

your ribs
are bruised
with effort.

you are.
i am.
we were.


e q u a t i o n.

friendship
+ lust
– satisfaction
+ stability
– romance
+ fidelity
– surprise
_______________
= lasting love?