Author Archives: iwishiwasaspy.

15.06.03 (xv)

i am stuck.
again.
so an ode
to you
i make:
your life for mine.

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cremation.

make me smaller
than any particle
of human light.

grind me up
into dirty grits
of cartilage and mucus.

crush me underfoot
with your feather
and sweep away my soul.

pour me through
the metal grate
along with your waste.

smoother me with
layer upon layer
of tight, black nets.

drown me deep
and let the seaweed
poison my lungs.

kill me now.
take my breath quickly
and let me surrender.


adore.

I’m just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm
I’m just gonna walk home kicking stones at parked cars
But I had a great night ’cause you kept rubbing against my arm
I’m just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm
Get me a drink I get drunk off one sip
Just so I can adore you
I want the entire street out of town
Just so I can be alone with you
Now go when your ready my heads
Getting heavy pressed against your arm
I adore you
All off my money is spent on these nights just so we can hang out
Spacing in and out of these dresses I wanna be found
By you, found by you
Get me a drink I get drunk off one sip
Just so I can adore you
I want the entire street out of town
Just so I can be alone with you
Now go when your ready my heads
Getting heavy pressed against your arm
I adore you, I adore you
I kick the gutter in tight shorts, basketball courts
Watch me, watch him talk to girls
I’m known as a right hand slugger
Anybody else wanna touch my lover
Get me a drink I get drunk off one sip
Just so I can adore you
I want the entire street out of town
Just so I can be alone with you
Now go when your ready my heads
Getting heavy pressed against your arm
Just to adore you, I adore you

~ amy shark.


mirror.

in the rearview;
i let go
of the belief.

i thought there
might be someone,
i hadn’t met yet.

i still thought;
that feeling
awaited me.

someone – available –
who somehow found
my flaws stunning.

this is the year
of feeling
my use-by date.


netflix.

i watched it
again,
so i could
remember
the pain.

i lived in
that world
for so long.
i thought i’d
forgotten.

scrape the surface
and you will
find it.

not a longing
to remember,
but a longing
not to forget.


embrace.

in all the world
there exists only
one man;

whose embrace
dissolves the madness,
repairs my soul,
releases my heart.

elusive embrace.
but solace found
in knowing he exists,

and he will never
feel a drought
of my love.


film.

but i want
to say,

i wish
you were here.

or i was there.

or i was nowhere.

my heart
is still missing.

and you are
doing your best

to survive.


2018: 09

he didn’t jump;
but i wished to slip
my hand in his;
after all,
you were only fishing.


2018: 08

does it make me
an arsehole;
for those living terminally?
only i would rather death,
if it was an option.


2018: 01

the scent of familiarity;
the willpower to remain alone;
watch and learn;
read and weep;
cut and drive;
dig and bleed.

keep going.