Category Archives: minerals.

stride.

eat my
hand;
draw breath
and see
the raw mist.

call the
question
unearthed
and captured
in real time.

my brain
permanently
intoxicated,
high anxiety
and the dull grey.

watch her walk
see the stride,
a purpose
unknown
but free.

loose flesh
and fish oil
stains;
waiting in
silent terror.

longing sobs;
inevitable loss.
leave quietly
or rather,
don’t let me fall.

Advertisements

safe.

now i understand
why my wrists
have been aching –
it’s where you
held me
while i struggled.
as you spat
at me,
and i begged you
to go.
as you raged
at my riddled body,
and i begged you
to go.

i know
it’s always my fault;
i know
there’s no point arguing.
i am reduced
to the pathetic doll
once again.
another christmas
and another year
pretending.

i thought
you knew.
and i thought
i could be loved
by you.
turns out,
it’s all
just the same.
but now i understand
why my wrists
have been aching.

you might
as well
compare notes.


when.

when it finally
happens;
when it finally
ends;
let my body
crumble
to dust.
let my heart
emaciate with
a final shudder.
let my hands
stop shaking
and my voice
stop breaking.


luxury.

some days
it would be
a luxury,
to stop time;
halt the moments;
and find
a sort of respite;
a pause,
in the spinning
globe.

this place
is done.
the wars
won’t end.
and the hatred
only grows.
the people
can not be trusted.
and the animals
have fled.


persecute.

why do they
need to be heard
straightaway?

when does the line
blur from assertive
to narcissistic persecution?

if it doesn’t change
in that moment;
pain is all you have.

it’s like the more hurt
suffered by one, the more
they need to hurt the other.

regardless of fault,
or circumstance;
the moment is just that.

why do they
need to be heard
straightaway?

especially when the
only response
will be silence and disappointment.


strength.

because it feels like
her bones are aching
from the pressure,
and her temperature
is off the chart.
we’re all yearning
for faster:
bandwidth,
relationships,
metabolism,
and fixes.

because she can’t stretch
when you are
taking up every inch
of surface space.
you’re so close
she can feel
your sticky breath;
a petition for
netball rules –
no contact
within three feet.


before.

wallowing further
than before.
i couldn’t find
his face.
the sand ran through
the glass
and through
my toes.

swallowing more
than before.
i couldn’t find
my breath.
your tears ran through
my veins
and through
the window.

cowering lower
than before.
she couldn’t find
her strength.
your fists ran through
her skull
and through
the wall.


machine.

well-oiled cliche
of paramount
importance.

say it again;
say it
to my face.

tell me it
doesn’t matter.
tell me.

he’s watching
the side swept
fringe;

dignity and pride,
caution and
self-respect.

will it shatter
with the slightest
glance?

building machines,
waiting for
the engine.

is it warm?
show her how
to cool it.

palace of uncertainty;
bullish creation
and pebbles of doubt.

when will
the boulders
fall?

cascading avalanche
of ice and
treachery.

pull the machine
aside,
to evoke the madness.


jinx.

don’t want to
think it;
don’t want to
feel it.

he wants to
get closer;
he wants to
feel her.

she wants to
get closer;
she wants to
let him in.

don’t want to
think it;
don’t want to
feel it.

if she holds
it in;
can she escape
the jinx?

if he holds
her tight;
will she escape
her demons?

don’t want to
think it;
don’t want to
feel it.

escape the jinx.
escape the jinx.
escape the jinx.


myth.

he used to be
timid, wary
of even the
glimpse of
a moment
of happiness.

he could be
happy for
the joy of others;
he could see
light almost as
well as the shade.

but if he didn’t
believe in
the happiness
myth, the fairytale
of happy endings;
it couldn’t disappoint him.