Category Archives: [press send]

stagger.

no knife
is sharp enough;
no blade
splits the flesh
with surgeon-like
precion.

puzzles float
through my brain:
shapes and colours
and figures and trees.
to test and trick
and bore you.

the numb monotony
wills me towards you
and i know
my desperation
isn’t fair;
i bore you.

sleep or sprint
are my only functions.
can you still
call it functional
when you stagger through life
at only two speeds?

i search for pain,
even when my eyelids ache
and my skull is shattered
and my stomach is twisted;
i seek it: i am
a willing participant in my own addiction.

would it be release?
or another futile effort?
do i really care,
now i know
i don’t belong
in this world.

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leave.

do you know
what it’s like
to be left;
waiting
in the blue.

i hear the words,
i read your stories;
but every time
the same result:
you leave and i wait.

it’s not your fault.

i have felt
the warmth of your love:
immense and like no other.
no one has ever known me
and loved me like you.

i can’t see the page
that ends with you and i.
but i promise to leave
my love at the end
of every road for you.

i wish i could
give you everything
you’ve ever given me.
[i know it’s not enough]
not until time travel allows.

while i wait
for this one to end.
maybe we’ll find our time
in the next life.


sunburn.

it happens
when you leave
yourself exposed:
one ray of light
– one image –
and then a harsh awakening
to the facts.

inescapable pain
and wounds
you can’t hide.
there is a shame attached –
you should have known
this would happen.

if only
i had taken
earlier advice;
heeded the warnings
and stayed away
from danger.

it happens
when you leave
yourself exposed:
betrayal and sunburn –
just one in the same,
right?


[o n e d a y] (ii).

in those days
you made me feel
so safe
and i let you
keep me warm.

these days
i beg the universe
to [one day]
allow me
to repay the favour.

[one day]
i’ll get the chance
to show you
i love you –
so much
my heart bleeds.


“high”

And I loved every minute of it
And we’re still in the middle of it
How’d we ever get this far and still survive?

~ Veronicas


“l o s t.”

i’ll be damned if i do it, damned if i don’t
i’ll be lost if i love him, lost if i won’t
and i can’t muster up the courage to say it’s best that i leave
i can’t muster up much of anything when i’m feeling you breathe

my human heart won’t mend itself
when my own two hands are ripping out the seams
oh, it seems i’m my own worst enemy, oh
i’m doing it to myself

i’ll be hurt if i leave him, but turn cold if I don’t
he’s the sweet of a morning kiss, but there’s a poison it holds
sticking thorns into my spine but i won’t let go
sticking thorns into my sight, but i’ll keep my eyes closed

my human heart won’t mend itself
when my own two hands are ripping out the seams
oh, it seems i’m my own worst enemy, oh
i’m doing it to myself, oh

i’m doing it, i’m doing it, i’m doing it

with my own heart i won’t let it mend
use my own two hands, i rip out all the seams
oh, it seems i’m my own worst enemy, oh
i’m doing it to myself, oh

i’m doing it, i’m doing it, i’m doing it
to myself

~ liza anne.


cup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of sugar,
cup of tea,
cup of soup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of dust,
cup of glass,
cup of blades.

another one
for the cup:
cup of blood,
cup of salt,
cup of hair.

another one
for the cup:
cup of nails,
cup of grass,
cup of pain.


worth.

remember when
i woke up fuzzy,
and you
brought me
chocolate for breakfast?

remember when
i wished to hide
and you
gave me everything
i needed?

remember when
i called you in terror,
and you
held me and
kept me safe?

remember when
i was under attack,
and you
were my
closest ally and strategist?

remember when
i was lost,
and you
found me
and fought for me?

remember this,
whenever you doubt
your worth.

remember this:
i would do
it all again.


infinite.

imagine if we met,
before time had burnt us;
before the heat
was pooled at my feet.

i would clasp your hand
for eternity;
and the grey burdens
would be warmer and shared.

silence could protect us,
as we built a nest:
preparing for hibernation
in an infinite winter.


did you.

did you die;
and i’m still
in denial?

did you die;
and all i’m seeing
is your ghost?

did you die;
or did i just
dream you?