Category Archives: sheep in wolf’s clothing

matre.

you were more
than i knew.
the hole is deeper
than i expected.
i miss the bubble
i thought we shared.

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mirror.

in the rearview;
i let go
of the belief.

i thought there
might be someone,
i hadn’t met yet.

i still thought;
that feeling
awaited me.

someone – available –
who somehow found
my flaws stunning.

this is the year
of feeling
my use-by date.


netflix.

i watched it
again,
so i could
remember
the pain.

i lived in
that world
for so long.
i thought i’d
forgotten.

scrape the surface
and you will
find it.

not a longing
to remember,
but a longing
not to forget.


2018: 08

does it make me
an arsehole;
for those living terminally?
only i would rather death,
if it was an option.


amore.

La la
La la la la
La la
La la la
I like your smile
I like your vibe
I like your style
But that’s not why I love you

And I, I like the way
You’re such a star
But that’s not why I love you
Hey
Do you feel, do you feel me?
Do you feel what I feel, too?
Do you need, do you need me?
Do you need me?

You’re so beautiful
But that’s not why I love you
I’m not sure you know
That the reason I love you is you
Being you
Just you
Yeah the reason I love you is all that we’ve been through
And that’s why I love you

La la
La la la la
La la
La la la
I like the way you misbehave
When we get wasted
But that’s not why I love you
And how you keep your cool
When I am complicated
But that’s not why I love you

Hey
Do you feel, do you feel me?
Do you feel what I feel, too?
Do you need, do you need me?

Do you need me?

You’re so beautiful
But that’s not why I love you
And I’m not sure you know
That the reason I love you is you
Being you
Just you
Yeah the reason I love you is all that we’ve been through
And that’s why I love you

Yeah – Oh.
Oh.

Even though we didn’t make it through
I am always here for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

You’re so beautiful
But that’s not why I love you
I’m not sure you know
That the reason I love you is you
Being you
Just you
Yeah the reason I love you is all that we’ve been through
And that’s why I love you

La la
La la la la (oh oh)
La la
La la la (That’s why I love you)

La la
La la la la (oh oh)
La la
La la la (That’s why I love you)

~ Avril.


innate.

i feel it pulling
[me] in;
is that how it is
for [you]?

not even
begging, but
knowing i will
surrender.

follow it,
feel it,
obsess and
crave the purge.

i can almost
feel the pain
before i embrace it;
almost etched
into my skin
before i collapse
into the sharp
embrace.

i envy
her willpower
and control.
i envy his
distortion.
i envy the complete
surrender
to a distinction
of control.

this innate;
this blood
that tears through me;
this tremor and
insatiable
imagination.


sunburn.

it happens
when you leave
yourself exposed:
one ray of light
– one image –
and then a harsh awakening
to the facts.

inescapable pain
and wounds
you can’t hide.
there is a shame attached –
you should have known
this would happen.

if only
i had taken
earlier advice;
heeded the warnings
and stayed away
from danger.

it happens
when you leave
yourself exposed:
betrayal and sunburn –
just one in the same,
right?


heat.

back in the hot room,
she remembers:
it’s been 11 years
since he walked out;
10 years
since she ran;
7 years
since he begged her back;
6 years
since she was home again.

back in the hot room,
it all came back:
as the warmth
embraced her body,
so too did the sweet
memories of a love
once unknown
and similarly suffocating.

just like the hot room:
you let it break you,
because you think it’s worth it.


flood.

the flood
of memories
always brings with it
a sharp inhale,
and tight, heavy
boulder in his chest.

he misses
the warmth
of her body beside him;
her laugh,
and the depths of her mind
he ran out of time to discover.

his eyes
are full
of the pain and bruises;
careless rejection,
and the pretense of a friendship
that was over long ago.

his lost
his best friend,
and she’d already forgotten him;
like another possession
taken tragically in the flood,
but easily replaceable.


cup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of sugar,
cup of tea,
cup of soup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of dust,
cup of glass,
cup of blades.

another one
for the cup:
cup of blood,
cup of salt,
cup of hair.

another one
for the cup:
cup of nails,
cup of grass,
cup of pain.