Tag Archives: alone

stagger.

no knife
is sharp enough;
no blade
splits the flesh
with surgeon-like
precion.

puzzles float
through my brain:
shapes and colours
and figures and trees.
to test and trick
and bore you.

the numb monotony
wills me towards you
and i know
my desperation
isn’t fair;
i bore you.

sleep or sprint
are my only functions.
can you still
call it functional
when you stagger through life
at only two speeds?

i search for pain,
even when my eyelids ache
and my skull is shattered
and my stomach is twisted;
i seek it: i am
a willing participant in my own addiction.

would it be release?
or another futile effort?
do i really care,
now i know
i don’t belong
in this world.

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clown.

it is the intense loneliness
that follows the act;
no closer to an actress,
to a performer, to a clown;
but an act all the same.

hear me, look at me, love me;
love me the hardest,
love me the longest,
love me the most,
just please don’t leave me.


request.

there is the realisation,
that this is your life:
and you’ve spent more than half of it
wishing it was over.

take me now,
the tearful plea each night;

take me now,
the gutless desperation;

take me now,
so i can forget;

take me now,
before the game unravels;

take me now,
let this be the last time.


flood.

the flood
of memories
always brings with it
a sharp inhale,
and tight, heavy
boulder in his chest.

he misses
the warmth
of her body beside him;
her laugh,
and the depths of her mind
he ran out of time to discover.

his eyes
are full
of the pain and bruises;
careless rejection,
and the pretense of a friendship
that was over long ago.

his lost
his best friend,
and she’d already forgotten him;
like another possession
taken tragically in the flood,
but easily replaceable.


“l o s t.”

i’ll be damned if i do it, damned if i don’t
i’ll be lost if i love him, lost if i won’t
and i can’t muster up the courage to say it’s best that i leave
i can’t muster up much of anything when i’m feeling you breathe

my human heart won’t mend itself
when my own two hands are ripping out the seams
oh, it seems i’m my own worst enemy, oh
i’m doing it to myself

i’ll be hurt if i leave him, but turn cold if I don’t
he’s the sweet of a morning kiss, but there’s a poison it holds
sticking thorns into my spine but i won’t let go
sticking thorns into my sight, but i’ll keep my eyes closed

my human heart won’t mend itself
when my own two hands are ripping out the seams
oh, it seems i’m my own worst enemy, oh
i’m doing it to myself, oh

i’m doing it, i’m doing it, i’m doing it

with my own heart i won’t let it mend
use my own two hands, i rip out all the seams
oh, it seems i’m my own worst enemy, oh
i’m doing it to myself, oh

i’m doing it, i’m doing it, i’m doing it
to myself

~ liza anne.


cup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of sugar,
cup of tea,
cup of soup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of dust,
cup of glass,
cup of blades.

another one
for the cup:
cup of blood,
cup of salt,
cup of hair.

another one
for the cup:
cup of nails,
cup of grass,
cup of pain.


[okay]?

what happened?
it’s okay.

where did you go?
it’s okay.

how’s your heart?
it’s okay.

is it dark?
it’s okay.

are you alone?
it’s okay.

when will it stop?
it’s okay.

why not?
it’s okay.

it’s okay.
it’s okay.
it’s okay.
it’s okay.
it’s okay.


t h i n k.

clichés are so
for a reason.

better to be lonely alone,
than lonely despite company?

“i think so,” she said.