Tag Archives: crash

stride.

eat my
hand;
draw breath
and see
the raw mist.

call the
question
unearthed
and captured
in real time.

my brain
permanently
intoxicated,
high anxiety
and the dull grey.

watch her walk
see the stride,
a purpose
unknown
but free.

loose flesh
and fish oil
stains;
waiting in
silent terror.

longing sobs;
inevitable loss.
leave quietly
or rather,
don’t let me fall.


everything.

never felt
more alone,
more misunderstood,
than this day
where i have
everything.

and you know
the pills
mean something,
but they can’t
dull the lonely;
everything but nothing.

and you know
you can keep
repeating;
lying to her and yourself.
but you don’t want me.
just stop.


heart.

​i’m doing
it all wrong
again.
every moment
is a chance
for betrayal.
every moment
is a chance
to lose.

in my mind
it is not
a chance:
it is certain.
he will leave,
and you
will fall,
every knife pointed
at my own bloody heart. 


please let me.

​i said the words
again.
and i cried
my lungs dry.
and i stopped
caring.
again.

i felt another wave;
there have been
too many
and too often.
i have nothing left
to ride on;
it pulls me under.

i said the words
again.
and i cried
my lungs dry.
and i stopped
caring.
again.


luxury.

some days
it would be
a luxury,
to stop time;
halt the moments;
and find
a sort of respite;
a pause,
in the spinning
globe.

this place
is done.
the wars
won’t end.
and the hatred
only grows.
the people
can not be trusted.
and the animals
have fled.


paramedic.

the ambulance
still scares me;
scars me.
i see the footpath
with your blank face
and the blood.

i see them
shuttling past,
jostling through.
like that night,
no sirens
means more tears.

i put your photo
in the black frame;
your hat is too small,
but you smile
and i pretend
you’re not so far away.


dam wall.

i walked into
the roadhouse
where we stopped
that one time.

i needed
the bathroom,
and you bought
drinks and candy.

you waited while i texted him,
and you looked at me
like you knew
i would hurt you.

did you
ever tell her
the real story
for your panic and rage?

did you
ever wonder
why you changed,
and why you terrified me.


persecute.

why do they
need to be heard
straightaway?

when does the line
blur from assertive
to narcissistic persecution?

if it doesn’t change
in that moment;
pain is all you have.

it’s like the more hurt
suffered by one, the more
they need to hurt the other.

regardless of fault,
or circumstance;
the moment is just that.

why do they
need to be heard
straightaway?

especially when the
only response
will be silence and disappointment.


cinematic.

catatonic
but memorable.
is that your
preference?

catastrophic
but peaceful.
do you have
a map?

idiotic
but enough.
where is my
popcorn?

symbiotic
but unique.
are you safe
yet?

probiotic
but no war.
how do you
sleep?


crush.

you held
these tears
in your arms,
in your voice,
and in your eyes,

you let me
see you
and you let me dream
that i could
be myself.

i couldn’t
bring myself
to ask.
i couldn’t
fight you.

it was like
you never
knew me.
and i had
fallen in love with a ghost.