Tag Archives: dance.

manic incompetence.

i don’t remember
the last time.
my fresh energy
– pure and uninhibited –
i’ve forgotten what
it feels like.

instead, luke warm
at best
and otherwise
cold, dark and sticky.

my hands never dry
and yet my nail beds
are rough
and crumbling.

i am so tired
yet full of adrenalin
relentless trembling
plagues my knuckles
like an arthritic matriarch.

the mania comes
but in an anxious
and with reactionary
tention.

no patience,
no concentration,
all fear and no memories.

a quivering
ball of pathetic
incompetence.

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it’s okay.

it’s okay,
(but kind of pathetic);
did you really think
i spent my days
pining and swooning?

you chased,
i sat pretty.
i asked,
and you lied.
i was fearless
and you ran.

it’s okay,
(but kind of pathetic);
did you really think
the pain you caused
meant more than a fading scar?

you chased,
i sat pretty.
i asked,
and you lied.
i was fearless
and you ran.


often times.

often times,
he thinks,
she is the one
and only
thing,
that could make
it worthwhile.

other times,
he thinks,
she is a mess
and the only
thing,
that hurts
his chances.

the thing is,
she is getting used
to more days
of missing less,
and finding
she longs for comfort
somewhere else.

and even if
she doesn’t
deserve it,
it means more
to be alone
than in
that lonely cave.


cremation.

make me smaller
than any particle
of human light.

grind me up
into dirty grits
of cartilage and mucus.

crush me underfoot
with your feather
and sweep away my soul.

pour me through
the metal grate
along with your waste.

smoother me with
layer upon layer
of tight, black nets.

drown me deep
and let the seaweed
poison my lungs.

kill me now.
take my breath quickly
and let me surrender.


embrace.

in all the world
there exists only
one man;

whose embrace
dissolves the madness,
repairs my soul,
releases my heart.

elusive embrace.
but solace found
in knowing he exists,

and he will never
feel a drought
of my love.


2018: 09

he didn’t jump;
but i wished to slip
my hand in his;
after all,
you were only fishing.


2018: 08

does it make me
an arsehole;
for those living terminally?
only i would rather death,
if it was an option.


2018: 01

the scent of familiarity;
the willpower to remain alone;
watch and learn;
read and weep;
cut and drive;
dig and bleed.

keep going.


clown.

it is the intense loneliness
that follows the act;
no closer to an actress,
to a performer, to a clown;
but an act all the same.

hear me, look at me, love me;
love me the hardest,
love me the longest,
love me the most,
just please don’t leave me.


infinite.

imagine if we met,
before time had burnt us;
before the heat
was pooled at my feet.

i would clasp your hand
for eternity;
and the grey burdens
would be warmer and shared.

silence could protect us,
as we built a nest:
preparing for hibernation
in an infinite winter.