Tag Archives: drink

dear.

dear one.
i didn’t know,
i still don’t know;
but you show me
in every moment.

dear one.
if i could
collapse into you,
i would
in every moment.

dear one.
i’m afraid.
but you keep
close to me
in every moment.

dear one.
your patience
is unwavering.
and i’m so grateful
in every moment.

dear one.
let’s laugh and play
and cry and sing
and kiss and dance;
in every moment.

dear one.
i will hold your
love with grace
and tenderness
in every moment.

dear one.
i can only offer
a tattered, broken heart;
but it is warm and yours
in every moment.

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safe.

now i understand
why my wrists
have been aching –
it’s where you
held me
while i struggled.
as you spat
at me,
and i begged you
to go.
as you raged
at my riddled body,
and i begged you
to go.

i know
it’s always my fault;
i know
there’s no point arguing.
i am reduced
to the pathetic doll
once again.
another christmas
and another year
pretending.

i thought
you knew.
and i thought
i could be loved
by you.
turns out,
it’s all
just the same.
but now i understand
why my wrists
have been aching.

you might
as well
compare notes.


lifetime.

no longer convinced,
she was his soulmate;
the years were not wasted,
but time was limited
and every second
filled with love.

maybe he’ll get
more than one.
because endless years
of barely speaking
amounted to a lifetime
of, ‘i love you.’


more or less.

i need.
more
of [you]
and more
of [this].
and more
of the look
in your left eye
as i collapse
into your grasp.

i need
less
of the [defeated]
and less
of holding [back]
and less
of trying not
to say all the words
i’ve kept inside for years.

more or less,
that’s what
we’re waiting for.


deaf.

all the names
shifting and replacing;
sometimes
i am surprised
by the reappearance.

unsure of symbolism
and unsure
of myself.
i am surprised
by your certainty.

sweep them away
i can embrace
the silence again;
you know
i am deafened now.


nonchalantly.

you filled
my dreams
with a life
you occupied,
nonchalantly.

i always woke
to an empty
darkness and
a black cat staring,
nonchalantly.

but the dull,
comforting grey
surrounds me
until mid afternoon it fades,
nonchalantly.


terrorism.

is this the age
you begin to see?
i saw violence
and hate,
vengeance
and scorn.

when did this place
begin to fill me
with terror?
i lie awake
listening to the yells –
obscenity and crass articulation –
with my kitten
curled into my side.
even he has learnt
of horrors greater
than a tired scratching post.


close.

sometimes
i can still
smell you
on me,
even after
all this time
and all
that skin.

musty and
warm
and completely
kissable.
i want to find
your chest
again and
stay forever.

i breathe
in deep,
in case
i ever
lose it.
for a moment,
i am
lost again.


contact.

constant, or
barely at all.
why is this
a topic of
contention?

there are no
assessments
against
performance
targets.

all he wants
is to feel
loved.
all he wants
is your heart.


red.

there it
was.
red and
fiery.
a treasure
of glitter
and crystals.

where did
it land you?
calling into
shadows
and crawling
through
the gap.

i’ll find
imagination
again;
fall back
position
and lights
in the dark.

who needs
sunshine
or rain,
snow or
thunder storms?
the fire
is burning.