Tag Archives: [pain]

cremation.

make me smaller
than any particle
of human light.

grind me up
into dirty grits
of cartilage and mucus.

crush me underfoot
with your feather
and sweep away my soul.

pour me through
the metal grate
along with your waste.

smoother me with
layer upon layer
of tight, black nets.

drown me deep
and let the seaweed
poison my lungs.

kill me now.
take my breath quickly
and let me surrender.

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leave.

do you know
what it’s like
to be left;
waiting
in the blue.

i hear the words,
i read your stories;
but every time
the same result:
you leave and i wait.

it’s not your fault.

i have felt
the warmth of your love:
immense and like no other.
no one has ever known me
and loved me like you.

i can’t see the page
that ends with you and i.
but i promise to leave
my love at the end
of every road for you.

i wish i could
give you everything
you’ve ever given me.
[i know it’s not enough]
not until time travel allows.

while i wait
for this one to end.
maybe we’ll find our time
in the next life.


sunburn.

it happens
when you leave
yourself exposed:
one ray of light
– one image –
and then a harsh awakening
to the facts.

inescapable pain
and wounds
you can’t hide.
there is a shame attached –
you should have known
this would happen.

if only
i had taken
earlier advice;
heeded the warnings
and stayed away
from danger.

it happens
when you leave
yourself exposed:
betrayal and sunburn –
just one in the same,
right?


cup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of sugar,
cup of tea,
cup of soup.

another one
for the cup:
cup of dust,
cup of glass,
cup of blades.

another one
for the cup:
cup of blood,
cup of salt,
cup of hair.

another one
for the cup:
cup of nails,
cup of grass,
cup of pain.


[okay]?

what happened?
it’s okay.

where did you go?
it’s okay.

how’s your heart?
it’s okay.

is it dark?
it’s okay.

are you alone?
it’s okay.

when will it stop?
it’s okay.

why not?
it’s okay.

it’s okay.
it’s okay.
it’s okay.
it’s okay.
it’s okay.


could.

​she remembers
when he
used to love
her;
now it is
a resentful
need.
he wouldn’t
if he could;
she wouldn’t
if she could.

she remembers
when she
used to love
him;
now it is
a painful
memory.
she wouldn’t
if she could;
he wouldn’t
if he could.


disparate.

and then reality
broke through
her skin
with the fierceness
of a blade;
and waves upon waves
of self-loathing
and the impracticalities,
the burden
of this depressed life.
her head falls
to the caress
of her sweaty,
oily palms.

how to destroy
this feeling?

these days,
her fingers only
stop shaking
when sleep
engulfs her
bleak, diseased body.
she’s seen
the despair before,
but somehow
this entrapment
is different.
she is a fool
faking the light,
before it attacks again.


luxury.

some days
it would be
a luxury,
to stop time;
halt the moments;
and find
a sort of respite;
a pause,
in the spinning
globe.

this place
is done.
the wars
won’t end.
and the hatred
only grows.
the people
can not be trusted.
and the animals
have fled.


limbo.

it’s cold today,
but the birds
sailed by.

my backbone chilled
and my eye sockets
are weakened.

his lips felt wanting;
her lips were small
and bruised.

the wind mocks me
and again i am
a soulless ghost.

but if merely a ghost,
why do i feel
so cold?

let me go numb,
until this passes
and something else remains.


trademark.

that was a hard
thing to do.
like always,
this paradox
of wanting
something
so badly
that in the end,
i don’t want
it at all.
the loss when
it is over
is not as deep
as i used to feel.

the surprise
is your trademark –
it happens now,
or not at all –
and i always
wonder
if part of you
hopes to miss
the chance
for complexity.
like the forlorn
longing is worth more
than confused frustration.