Tag Archives: work

switch.

the lid
is over-flowing
with familiar
self-loathing.

but a different
kind of tremor;
no tears and
just cold, dark eyes.

no heart
can warm me.
i hear your name
and shiver.

memory and
my head aches.
the switch flipped
the wrong way.

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bandaid.

it’s like, this pressure
and the inevitable
disappointment –
both his and mine –
somehow worthless;
yet when i look,
she is no more
intriguing or attractive.

can’t eat, want to sleep;
can’t dance, want to die.
the mirror mocks me
and the pressure builds;
more powerful by the day.
“i like to fix things.”
please stop trying
to fix me.


twenty-two.

displaced passion
oozes with
self-congratulating
praise and the
ever-present
humble brag.

we admire
your hope.
we are astonished
at your naivety.
the polished prune
still looks like a shit.

tracing my
furrowed brow,
you look earnest
and sympathetic.
take your pity
with you.


sabbatical.

tasteless
dreams
full of
flavour,
but devoid
of real,
nourishing
fulfillment.

what are
you
searching
for;
exactly?
she giggles
with an
endless jig.

go away
and sit
with the
silence;
embrace
the freedom,
and then
return.


potassium.

luscious curves
and placid, trembling
facade of peace.

the walls
stand tall and
a statue watches.

rain. rain
and thunder, hurl
me across the plain desert.

i yearn for hunger
and scream, desperate
to feel the need; warmth.

cool edges
with silver throats
to slice and burn.


dumb.

your face is confused
and dazed. covered with
incomprehension
but refusal to learn
i do not care
about your
inconsequential life
i do not care
about your
your daughter or wife
when your only
reaction to feedback
is to shout profanities
at me,
i live up to my name
i do not pity
fools and i do
not play your game.
leave your stupidity
at the door
and take your label.


pieces ii.

piece it all,
together
find intrinsic
madness.

lust and lunacy?
fuck off.

fighting the lost
battle
don’t surrender;
create.

this
is.


eradication.

He poisoned her home.
Before, a place of warmth, love, security.
And now poisoned by the memory of what he did there.

And then he left.
He will return.
And he will torture her.

The scent remains.
I’ve washed the sheets.
I’ve cleaned the floor.
I’ve scrubbed my plates.
I’ve scrubbed my skin.

I force my skin to tolerate the extremes of temperature as I shower.
I force my blood to thin, so when I watch, it flows evenly.
I force my body to endure endless, enduring, excessive exertion.
I am disappointed that my daily purge does not act as an adequate antiseptic.

But, like the army of ants that continues to march on despite maximum casualties,
Like irreversible mould.
Like a stubborn stain.
Like the plague.
He will haunt her.

Food is tasteless.
Hunger is constant but never satiated.
Her bed no longer restful or safe.
Heat from the open fire barely touches her skin.
She is ice.

Through determination and self-sacrifice, successful eradication is imminent.


more sleep.

Friday: 7 hours.
Workout. Work. No contact. No contact. Rehearsal. Dance. No contact. An emotional hour. I want sushi. A tired hour.

Saturday: 6 hours.
Lunch. Rehearsal. Workout. Family. Bbq. Your lips. Unexpected.

Sunday: 6 hours.
Workout. Your lips. Coffee. Workout (again).  Your lips (again). Panic. Waiting. Sunshine. Best friend pierced. Waiting.

Monday: 5 hours.
Conference. Rehearsal. Workout. Non-event. Cleaning. Disappointment. Your hold.

Tuesday: 5 hours.
Airport. Conference. Rehearsal.Workout. Wine. Best friend. Gossip. Cuddles. Ice cream.

Wednesday: 5 hours.
Workout. Work. Rehearsal. Food. Rehearsal. Missing. Mistake. Your smile. Food. Dance.

Thursday: 4 hours.
Work. Phone. Email. Food. Workout. Rehearsal. Application. Application. Application.  Food. Rehearsal. Food.

Friday: sleep.
Rehearsal. Food. Work. Phone. Email. Application. Work. Rehearsal.  Interview. Work. Shoes. Rehearsal. Dance.

One hour.
Game on.  Electrolytes to follow.


dance.

I dance.
fly.
smile.
breathe.
one hour of joy etched into their faces.

I am addicted to the energy.

feet move you.
her body amuses you.
I pause for laughter, like a comedian on the threshold of a punch line.
delivered. if you say it fast they’ll just assume you were funny.

hands direct you.
my giggles erupt.

I can be your rockstar
if you will be my groupies.

listen to the rain.
dance like a spy.